Tuesday, December 20, 2011


Mr. Fischer:

How classy of you to say such things so soon after Christopher Hitchens’s untimely death. I'm willing to wager the €8.23 in my savings account that this episode´s script was written months ago. I'm right, am I not? You are such a ghoul that you wanted to have a response ready the second Mr. Hitchens passed away.
Taking into account that he didn´t just defy your imaginary friend but also your imaginary nemesis, the idea of Mr. Hitchens in hell simply doesn’t make a lick of sense. You often say “Let me explain” in your videos. Not because your statements are intellectually compelling and need elucidating, but because they are so illogical that bending over backwards is required to make them appear infallible.
I completely fail to see how sending Mr. Hitchens to hell would be an act of love. No matter from what angle I approach this nonsensical concept, the conclusion is always: it would be an act of gleeful sadism.
Inspired by your reasoning, I wrote the following fictional dialogue between a mother and her child.
Child: “What’s for dinner tonight, mommy?”
Mother: “Sweetheart, you always have something bad to say about my cooking. You don’t like my salads and you flat-out refuse to sample my casseroles. Today it dawned on me how cruel it would be of me to keep serving you my culinary creations. This is why I have decided to force feed you dog turds from this point on. It’s the most logical and loving thing a mother can do.”

Definitely not yours,
Nancy B. Strickland

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